Hi.

   Many people have asked why I'm leaving and I'm finally taking the time out to explain it. Sit back and relax, this will probably take a while. For you smokers you may want to go and have a cigarette now, that's precisely what I'm going to do before my long winded explanation and account of events takes place.

BRB

OK I'm back and away I go...

   I'll start out by telling you a little story. I arrived in the bitter Windy City at the impresionable age of seven. Yes I am a FOB, surprisingly people who I tell this too are still amazed that I was born in the P.I. due to the lack of my accent, others will argue I have another type of accent. But yes I am a FOB even though the white boy inside hides it well. Back to the story, I was born and raised in the P.I. and I was instilled with the Filipino view of life. However I say I grew up here in Chicago, more importanly I grew up in a very caucasian environment. Not necessarily in my own home, but my friends up until I went to U of I were all mostly white. I went through grade school, junior high (Chicago Parochial kids apparently did not have junior high and are alien to this system of schooling), high school and two years of junior college. Then I transfered to U of I. Through the final phase of my education I was granted loans and grants by the government which allowed me to stay in school. My parents still bitch to this day about why I didn't just go to the P.I. for school and become a doctor.

   So why the Army you ask? Well I've always wanted to go into the service. In H.S. when I was applying to colleges I was seriously considering going to West Point or Annapolis, or even VMI or the Citadel. But suffice to say I was not a citizen yet so I was not able to go through with it. When I applied to U of I was also considering R.O.T.C. But again I was not a citizen yet. When I graduated I was looking feverently for this thing called a job but nothing I was applying for or I interviewed for was really fitting. It also didn't help that no one wanted to give me a job haha, heh, blah. This past Spring/Summer the thought about joining the military came back into my psyche and I researched it to the point where I was familiar with every aspect of military life. This was to calm my apprehensive and pesimistic nature. I had it narrowed down to either the Marines and the Army. I chose the Army because within the Army I had the freedom to choose from many occupations as well as the opportunity for advancement. Though I believe the Marines still have the better looking dress uniform.

   I still haven't answered your question though you say. That's because my reasons for joining the military are complex. Joining the armed services has always been a small dream of mine. In lieu of kids playing war and stuff I always had a macho side to me that said "do it." So now I'm indulging my inner child as well as challenging my physical and mental self. Another deeper reason is the belief of serving a cause, serving an entity better than myself. And being that being a man of the cloth goes against what I've already done and what I want to do, the Army allows me to give back. The Army will allow me to serve my country and give back for what it has given me. I wanted a job where I knew that, even in the most minute part, what I was doing is making a difference. Another reason is because of my long term plan that I have kept secret. I've always wanted to joing the F.B.I. or C.I.A. or N.S.A. but when I was researching for jobs I was awakened to the fact that they usually only take people with masters or PhDs. In joining the Army I have started a career which if I decided I could retire from when I am in my mid 40s.

   Am I scared? Yes, who wouldn't be? It's something new to me and I'm going to be trusting my life, my career, in other people's hands. I'm also leaving behind my life as I know it. Friends, family, everything, my home. That petrifies me. To leave the familiarity of it all to chase a dream will scare anyone. But I am taking this risk, I am leaving, but not for good. Do I have second thoughts? Yes. Especially as of late. There are things that have come up that complicate things. It makes me want to stay so bad. But I know I can't, I have to do this to see what I'm made of to see if I can do what set out to be.

   So where do I go from this day to the next? Right now I'm in the Delayed Entry Program of the U.S. Army. This entails me to keep in shape or get into it rather and I check in with the recruiting command to check my progress. My ship out date is April 20, 2004, yes you potheads that's 420. But in actuality I get dropped off at the recruiting and processing station on the 19th of April because we have to get up at 4 am to start getting final paperwork done and to make sure I haven't done any drugs or broken the law since I signed up.

   What am I doing in the Army? Well that's classified haha not really. But I'm doing a year long training program in intelligence systems. After the first year I hope to go to Officer Candidate School to become an officer and have leadership responsibilities as well as higher pay. Right now I have a commitment of five years. If I choose to I can extend that to a full career but right now, five years is enough. But don't worry I'll be coming back here and there to visit so this is by no means our last months together. I have 30 days of paid vacation a year so I'll be taking a couple of weeks during the summer and winter holidays to visit.

   So that's it, that's why. I probably forgot something in there so if I did and you're still curious just ask.

Laters, Peej