I'm Sick!!!

I haven't been this ill in a while, maybe since that time when Twan and I lived together and a bunch of you came over to visit my sick ass. Fun times though, even though we had to take Jen to the Emergency Room haha. Oh memories.

So many of you know now that I'm leaving for the Army in April. A bunch of you know that it's always been an option for me and now it's a reality. I'll post about the reasons I decided to join later, and no it has nothing to do with the uniform getting me girls haha.

What else is up with me? Same stuff just a diffent day. The job market still sucks, so those graduating without a job lined up, good luck and welcome to the real world. I've been doing the usual, staying in Sunday through Wed, and going out usually Thursday to the usual place and either Friday or Saturday. But not this weekend because I believe I've contracted the flu.

That's it for now, I'll hopefully get better at keeping this thing updated.
Peace.

Helloooooooo

   It's been a while. Not much has changed. Still un-employed, though I have been granted interviews now so hopefully within the next couple of weeks I'll be on the employed club as that is the trend as of late. Still doin' the same ol' thing day in and out. Going out on the weekends and what not.

   This past weekend went to the STL with 'Twan and Liss to visit John and for Liss to visit Wash U Business School.

Thursday: Interviewed in the the morning, got stuck in mad traffic on the way there, smoked way too much, but I was still on time, c'mon I'm the on time one. Got home chilled with 'Twan for a bit then napped. 'Twan picked me up and headed to Liss' house. She brought home Gyro stuff so we had mini Gyros. After that drove down to Champaign for the night so the girls could pack up their stuff to move out of their places. Got into town around 930 and chilled at 'Twan's for a bit. Then had some drinks with Schmidty and she got drunk. Went to Silvermine, this new sub place right by KAM's, it was pretty good. Then Schmidty and I watched American Pie 2, first time I saw it. Then I passed out.

Friday: Woke up and showered and waited for Liss to finally get put together and headed to STL. 'Twan made it there in pretty good time and we went to Wash U for Liss' appointment. 'Twan and I walked around, then drove around, then just sat in the car. Nice campus, all the buildings look too much alike though. And the houses around there are ridiculous. After Wash U went to the Galleria to do some "shopping." OK mostly 'Twan and Liss looked, I stayed outside the stores. Then we headed to Zata's place. And within half an hour the drinking began. Cuz that's what you do when you're in the Lou. John had a case of Michelob Ultra Light and we killed that shit. Then our buzzin asses went to eat at Olympia's, this Greek restaurant where they put way too much cucumber sauce on their Gyros. After that we had food coma and passed out at John's place before going out. We all woke up late and headed out to Westport and went to Margarita Mama's. Weird place, but pretty fun. It was a really bad sausage fest, and apparently that's how it is in STL. We did a Jaeger bomb and my mild illness didn't help. It took me forever to finish it but finally did. We me John's friends, and for once I wasn't the oldest, they're a lil older than we are. After the bar we went home and they passed out pretty quickly when I put Pearl Harbor on, but I couldn't fall sleep until I got too lazy to put disc 2 in.

Saturday: Woke up and ate at the Zata's residence. Then we decided to go on the Anheuser-Busch brewery tour. So we headed over to the brewery after we went to Ted Drewes, this Custard Cup type deal. So we took the tour and were educated on the Budweiser brewing process. Saw the clydesdales, and a bunch of other stuff. But the highlight of the tour was the end where we got free samples! All about the free samples. After the brewery we went to get a pizza. So this pizza is 28 inches. It's a huge bitch. Apparently if two people sit down and eat it in under an hour you win $500. Yeah we didn't even try. We took it back to John's place and it barely fit down the stairs. We were all happy about eating it before we started but then after it we were all really full and kinda sleepy so it was once again nap time. I was woken up by the sound of hair dryers. So got up and got ready in the time it was taking the females to get ready and even then Zata and I had time to make some drinks haha. Then we headed out to Club Buca. Fun club. There was an equal amount of girls to guys there this time. And the talent was better. One of the bartenders looked like she was about to pop out of her corset that she was wearing. And I wouldn't have minded. After Buca went to a college bar near St. Louis University. It was like any other college bar, nothing special. Highlight of the day had to be John doing the Beyonce bounce when her song came on. He has to do it anytime it comes on or anyone sings it. Funny stuff. Went back to John's to finish off the rest of the pizza and started to watch Boondock Saints. 'Twan and Liss fell asleep even before the credits finished, and John soon after that. Then I passed out near the end.

Sunday: Woke up early then fell back asleep. Then woke up again packed, and headed back to Champaign. Slept some more in the car and I also was given a new name: Google. Google because I know useless bits of information and I enlighten people who need information. Though there are times when I need updating or the server is down. Got back to Champaign and ate some popcorn shrimp and watched Old School. Then we headed home and that was the weekend.

Fun times this weekend, thanks guys, thanks John for the hospitality. And Liss, nah you don't embarass us, you're just a soccer mom.

okbye

La vita è bella.

Yup still unemployed. Rather, not unemployed but on "sabatical." Twan'll know where that's from. haha

So this past weekend, yeah I'm late on updating because I'm lazy, I went to L.A. with my aunt and cuz and her "friend" and his kids. Got the call from Kris Thursday around 11 to see if I wanted to go while I was at The Apartment. It was random but hey, spontaneous things are cool. So drank way too much like usual because it was half price drinks, woo! Went to Barleycorn because Blu had $10 cover, bogus. Then headed home for some quick shuteye before the flight.

Woke up around 6 to get ready and pack and shit, yeah a lil bit of a headache. Cuz picked me up we went to O'hare to wait for our flight.

Had a Sausage McGriddle, let me tell you how good those damn things are, damn good. I enjoyed it thouroughly. So we get our seats, we were flying standby and we ended up in United First Class on a 747! Nice digs, each person got their own like little compartment. The seats turned into beds, you could adjust it to whatever freaking position you wanted and you had your own little entertainment system to yourself. Watched Lilo & Stitch, The transporter, Shanghai Knights, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 days. How you ask? Because you could switch to whatever freaking movie you wanted to see. Had lunch on the plane, eh kinda nasty but I was hungry.

Got to L.A. and was surprised that it was actually pretty chilly. Went to the hotel and changed and unpacked. Went down to Hollywood and Rodeo drive. I didn't even want to get out of the car and go into any of the stores because I just felt inadequate. Everyone there drives an automobile with a sticker price of no less than about 50k. Ferraris, Jags, Beemers, Benzs, Masaratis everywhere. Oh and in hollywood, there is a lot of good looking people, by people you know I mean girls. Also the Silicone and Saline was flowing uncontrolably. Thank god for aspiring models/actresses. :-P Went back to the hotel and I passed out without even changing.

Next day went sightseeing again, what else do you do with family and you're the only one allowed to go out to the clubs? Went to a bunch of beaches, and saw a lot of nice ass houses. New goal when I retire: own a beach front property! Found Jollibee in Carson City. Haven't eaten there since I was a 'lil F.O.B. Still good, ate the spaghetti and fried chicken in record time. I think I disgusted the two halfies with us.

Sunday went to the beaches again because it was nicer and we decided to go in the ocean. I didn't stay in the water as much as the kiddies because I don't like the taste of the ocean, and the film it leaves on your skin. So I sat on the beach and listened to my cd player and just contemplated life and enjoyed the scenery. Two words: first bikinis, second, revolution yeahhhhhh. I kept stealing my cuz's digicam so I could take pictures haha. Then got cleaned up ate dinner at some filipino place. Yeah they are everywhere there, and the number of FOBs is immense. Especially at this one place, all the titos and grandpas were all smoking so I decided to sneak away and smoke with them haha, fun stuff. Cigs I bought were 7 bucks!!! So I enjoyed those very much with a taste of bitterness.

Went to LAX and waited for the flight, almost didn't make the midnight flight but we got it anyway. Fell asleep on the flight for a bit, apparently I was the only one that did in our group because they were all still tired. Woke up and found out that you can listen to the pilots radio conversations on United flights, kinda cool. Outside the plane the clouds were everywhere and cause mad turbulance. There was a lot of lightning everywhere so that was cool. Thank god I'm not afraid of flying because I think some people were and they were clutching onto their seats like mad.

Landed and got dropped off at home, went to McDonald's cuz I was feeling McGriddles again haha!

So to sum it up, Cali's a nice place. Like any city there's some ghetto ass places. The beaches are pretty, the girls are beautiful :-P. Overall the trip was fun. Only thing that got to me was the two 'lil kids with us. They're from VA so they have this southern twang in their voice which is annoying. They were overall annoying, and they were trying to annoy my cousin and I. You all know those Juicy Juice commercials with the 'lil kids? Well Twan knows how much I despise those kids. The whole trip I had to restrain myself from just throwing them out of the van. Or maybe I just had a short fuse. I dont know. But yeah Cali's a nice place. But It's good to be home.

Freunde des gutenmorgens!

   It's June. So it's been almost 6 months since I graduated, and yes I'm still unemployed. Though I did take the first 4 months off, the job search is brutal. Can't seem to get any bites. No one wants me! All good, I'll end up doing something great, JUST WATCH! I've been seriously considering becoming a cop for the great city of Chicago. So when their next exam comes up I'm going to take it. Hopefully it comes up soon because yeah the parents are wondering what I'm going to do with myself haha.

   So as of late I've been cutting down on the smoking. For three reasons: a)It's cheaper not to smoke b)It's good for my health. c)I don't feel it anymore. I'm not craving it as much. Yay for me! Next up: Cutting down on the drinking and starting to work out.

   So what's new? Not much, been chillin, going to grad parties and such. Saw Finding Nemo with some peeps. Ading Thara enjoyed it immensely. Perhaps even more than the 8 year old and the 14 year old who were with us. Henson and Jerome were also riveted to the screen. Other than that I've been doing my thing, going out to Free bars and drinking and such.

Hola!

   There is seriously something wrong with my sleeping habits. One day I'll pass out easily, the next I'm up forever. The clincher is that now, not even pharmaceuticals will aid in my quest for two days of good nights rest.

   It's been a while since I blogged here eh? So what's new? Nothing, haha. SSDD. Mommy did get me a new watch though haha.

   The job search has FINALLY hit high gear and I'm applying like crazy, and crossing my fingers that I get replies, cross your fingers for me yeah?

   To the Class of '03, CONGRATS! Welcome to the real world. It's not going to be as you expect, just read Romel's online Journal. It'll be rough at times but trust me, you'll get through it. At least now there's more playmates to do stuff with haha, welcome to the boredom my friends.

   Also I've noticed that my tolerance for the alcohol fluxuates greatly. One night I'll be drunk off of the usual pitcher and shot, the next night, nothing will touch me. Weird eh? Still gotta like the alchi.

   So Romel's off to bigger and better, not to mention warmer places. Mofo got accepted to the cytology program. Congrats dude, and yeah, curve the gambling haha. We'll visit you I'm sure.

   But right now I think I'm going to go play some video games or something 'til I pass out. Hopefully I wake up before people come from the city so I can drive them deeper into the 'burbs.

I'll Blog later, I've got a lot of things on my mind, though it may seem like there's no possible way I could, there is. Just trust me on this one.

Greetings

So it's been a month since I've done this ish. I've been lazy, not like I've had anything else to do either haha. Nothing new to report really, just doin my thing and being the parasite that is me. Been going out a lot, drinking, visited school a couple of times. I think I've killed off more brain cells that are humanly possible but hey that's how I do. It's finally getting warm, thankfully. As I write this it's 53 degrees outside, where as this time last night it was like 20 degrees colder as we stepped out of Coyote Ugly...

Oh man, Coyote Ugly, if you're a guy you need to go there and play pour some sugar on me on the jukebox cuz the bartenders do this dance. And yeah, it's hot, they're hot, cuz Joel and I were in awe, cuz Jen was disgusted by us haha. But it was so worth it.

I've been fighting this stomach thing today and yesterday, it's no fun really, I can eat, and drink, but then it hurts sometime after, maybe it's an ulcer or something. But my hard-headed ass won't go to the doctor so I'll just roll with it.

My mom daily reminds me to get a job, she always asks "Aren't you bored?" My answer is not yet really. I think I've needed this time to do absolutely nothing, which I've accomplished nicely and you all have to agree to that.

Nothing much to say right now...I'll add more later if I'm feeling elequent or something haha

I miss...

The lazy days when I REALLY had nothing to do. When I was a kid and all my worries were about what I was going to do that day, fun wise. Like riding on bikes, rollerblading, watching cartoons.

When my parents didn't care, and didn't worry about what I was going to do with my life. They just look at me now in disapproval.

The days when there was something I had to do, homework, practice. Even though at the time they seemed so trivial and so time consuming. I miss the study sessions, and the after practice comradery that occured. Soccer practice, when we just talked about nothing. Ribbed each other about who was going to homecoming or what not.

I miss being just a kid, where my actions had no bearing on my life. When I acted stupid it was just that, me acting stupid. No one cared, I sure didn't. I miss 8th grade when friends would just get together and talk about nothing. We'd drink have a good time. Sure we have those things now, but it seems people are preoccupied with other worldy adult things, like jobs and school.

I miss being able to have a cigarette and having some company, not just on the phone, but like actually having someone there. In the depths of the dark night we'd stare and sometimes it was silent, more often than not it wasn't. I miss that.

Seems as if now it's the real world. Parents on my back about finding a job. It's not as easy as they think. Nothing's as easy ast they think it is.

I yearn to be in my brother's shoes, to star all over again. To see where I could go if I really tried. I see great potential in him. I may give him a hard time and bully his awkward gangly ass around. He'll despise me later hehe.

Random hehe okbye

Bonjour mon amies!

Fun weekend this past weekend. Expensive? Yes, but so worht it.

Friday, picked up Ms. Leynes in Bensenville to head back down to school, again. Got down there went to the Y to get the key from Joe cuz I crashed at his place, thanks dude. Then went to Ian's and had a beer, Ian and I are alcoholics. Then headed to Murphy's, Abby's bad cuz she makes Ian and I eat meat on Friday's during Lent. So then it started, First I bought a pitcher, then Ian, then Abby, and damn it didn't stop 'til close! I was pretty good yo. I think I bought pitchers for Twan and Ading, and Long Islands for Sharon and Fatima, I think, I'm not so sure anymore. After that, headed to Merry Anne's, Ian and I finished our stacks in a minute and three minutes respectively, apparently according to Abby we don't chew. Then dropped some people off at home and headed back to the Babe Lair. Then mine and Ian's buzzin asses drove to apt. 312. Chilled for a bit before heading back to my car and seeing it being towed from the fucking lot! That kinda killed the buzz so Ian and I went back to Reynold's, paid for my car and dropped Ian back off at home. Ian's got some stories by the way. Fool needs to get out of his death circle already haha.

Saturday, woke up hung over as shit. Picked up the fam from Holiday Inn and picked up the tix from Twan at Foellinger, had to detour to pick up a stamp pad for Kris at IUB then headed to Chinatown Buffet. Engaged in a rather animated conversation about the finer points of Donkey Punch, Strawberry Shortcake, Hoover, Tabagon, and my personal favorite Houdini. Then headed back to Foellinger for the show. Good job on the show guys, it looked really good. Sorry if we got annoying hehe. ALEX!!! At intermission class of '98 and the Ansays booked it to KAM's for some mood enhancers. Had some choice grain and hops and some spirits (beer and shots). Buzzed our way back to our seats in Foellinger and saw the rest of the show. Said hi to some of the models then headed to Steak and Shake with the Fam. We're weird you know, if you guys would have seen how we are when all four of us are together you'd understand why Twan and I are the way we are. Dropped the kiddies back off at Holiday Inn and I went with Twan to her apt so she could get ready. Picked up some beer for the pre/afterset at Joe's then headed back to Joe's. I was greeted by a shot of everclear with Sharon, Juvs and Joe, thanks guys, that made my empty stomach feel really warm. Chugged some beers, did some more shots and headed to Canopy. Watched Joe run and say "Titties, Titties, Titties!!!" to beat the line haha. Went inside did some, ok a lot of shots. Sorry Jill I owe you, I didn't notice the staff standing there, all good though Romel, Eric, Nutt, and I drank it for you guys hehe. Went inside and danced, sort of, more like got jacked up and jacked up some people. Got tired, made my lil cousin take over for me hehe. Then headed back to Joe's, did some more shots that totally erased my memory, helped Joe kick out people so we could sleep then headed back to Merry Anne's. Then passed out.

Sunday woke up, hung over again, YEAH ROCKSTAR! Ate at Nitaya's with some peeps, everyone with the exception of Arlene's refreshed face looked hung over. Had some laughs and some pepper steak then headed back home. Passed out and came back to my reality, sigh.

Overall Fun weekend.

Weird...my brother and I are both afraid of the dark, neither of us can fall asleep without the TV on, otherwise our heads our underneath the blankets.

It seems like the snow is neverending here, it just freaking keeps coming. Even when I think it's over, I go outside to smoke and hey look more freaking flakes coming down.

On the upside, Green Machine is fully recovered, internally that is, externally, haha way different story. It does go faster now, and makes less noise.

Job search update: wait there is nothing to freaking update. No experience + No one hiring * Decline in the economy (Me being way too picky)^4 / Way too lazy = PJ still jobless, and looking for alternative means of income. (Street pharmacist, pimp, male hooker, selling my organs, minus the liver and lungs of course)

New CDs: Simple Plan - No Pads, No Helmets...Just Balls
50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Trying
Elton John - Greatest Hits 1970 - 2002
Brian Adams - The Best of Me
Good Charlotte - The Young and the Hopeless
John Mayer - Any Given Thursday

New Clothes: 4 Shirts, yes they're preppy, would you expect anything else? Thanks Mom

New PS2 Games: The Getaway (kinda like GTA, but they're British and they drive on the Left side of the Road
Everquest Online Adventures (for the true dork inside me)

TV Show of the moment: JAG, and those Strongest Man competitions, oh and of course...gotta have my MTV, and ESPN without sports there would be no music, clothes, a shelf would just be a shelf...

I'm random, sorry, okbye

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

Because...

things happen.
people change.
in one instant life seems so fragile.
I know now that I'm not immortal.
you may not have a second chance.
nothing is guaranteed.
tomorrow is a dream, yesterday is a memory, today is a gift.
having lives in your hands is a heavy load to bear.
now is all we have.
I wasn't happy with myself.
I'm sorry.
I still have a lot to learn, to accomplish.
life's too short.
friends are the greatest thing to happen.
my family's too important.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A FAILURE!

I've been doing some self reflection these past two weeks, since that Sunday. About what happened...it still replays everytime I climb behind the wheel, everytime I smoke a cig on my own, when there's snow on the road. Everyone knows what happened by now, scary stuff isn't it? See? Playing video games and enjoying driving in the snow can come in handy. Still life changing. In one instant, one wrong turn, 5 mph slower, and I could've been luckier, 1 mph faster and one wrong turn and I could've been in an Altima or an Integra could've been in my motor. Lucky, we all are. I almost broke down a bunch of times standing on the side of the road, my eyes were watery if you noticed, I couldn't stop shaking. I still shake when I think about it or when people mention it. And yes, I fucked up my car, 500 dollars worth, blew a gasket in my transmission. But it's over now, everyone came out of it OK, my car was lucky. Sharon's car was luckier, we can only imagine what they went through, 540 degrees around and into a ditch. But it's over now, what we do from here is what counts. It gives us a new found lease on life. FAH-Q Ohio, FAH-Q I-70. So from here? Life is uncertain, don't know what to do now. Don't know who I really am, don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself.

The one thing I have realized in my many moments of solitude, mostly when I was smoking by myself on my front porch, was that I wasn't happy with myself. With the person I was. The selfish, self promoting me. Those thirty seconds affected me in a way I never thought I'd be affected. In an instant I didn't know how much I could be scared in losing family in friends because of my stupidity. For stupidly following so close, for driving so fast. If anything did happen I don't think I could have forgiven myself. But that's what these situations teach us. We learn from what has happened to make us better people. And that's what I aim to do. To better myself. To be less selfish, to do better, to do good. Now how I go about this path of new found enlightenment is still hidden, but I will find it and I will be what I truly was meant to be.

So to anyone whom I've ever done wrong, to whom I've made fun of for my own promotion, to anyone whom I've hurt, to anyone I've ever done any negative to, to anyone I've made feel inferior, I truly do appologize, I'm sorry. From here, it's all downhill. And this is what I've been thinking about these past couple of weeks, it's been hard to verbalize what I've been feeling, and it still is, there's much I'd like to say, but can't, because I'm not a person to say much, not a person of many words, just know that you all truly do mean a lot to me, without you there is no me.

Drunk on a Wednesday, who does that??? That's right, Jen, Cathy, Romel, and I! Hey this is how we do boredom up here, we drink away our sorrows. Welcome to the real world she said to me, condesendingly. Went to the Bulls game tonight, with Cathy, yeah they still suck, young team, can't play together right, I feel sorry for Jay Williams and Jalen Rose. And that Iverson man, dude doesn't miss much, small quick little fuck. But yeah, going to MAFA this weekend, see how this goes, I WILL NOT pull a re-run of Junior year, right Fatima? How'd I get conned into driving again? Oh that's right, PJ doesn't know how to say NO!

Yeah, haven't blogged in a while. Last weekend was fun, especially Saturday, sorry Marina, but yeah don't keep shots in your mouth. And who's the chick that has a crush on me? I don't freaking remember. Ian, shhhhhh haha. But yeah, haven't been doing SHIT. Just the usual stuff, job hunting, not getting anything out of it. Bumming around the house, watching TV, sleeping, eating, yeah fun times. Not much else to say really, kinda tired, pretty bored. Lates

Let's Blog

Let's re-cap the last week shall we? Sit back, relax, this one's probably going to be long...

Tuesday, headed down to U of I to do some cultural and of course you know how we do. Got down there around 8 and on the way there Marina and I had our lives pass before our eyes. Going down route 47 at night, scary when you're trying to pass up a semi and then a truck comes out of nowhere and almost crashes with you. I won the game of chicken by the way, he gracefully, and thankfully, moved to the shoulder while I slammed on the brakes and with timely precision drove back behind the truck. Phew! Then got to school and went straight to practice. Saw everyone and Fatima immediately told me to start clicking, I didn't even get to eat my Taco Bell yet! So yeah, I forgot the counts, but caught back on. Showed the culture shock peeps what we had, then of course, it was Tuesday so you know what time it was Wine Night. Ading had to keep my floppy ears cold cuz she had gloves on and I didn't wear a hat cuz you know it might mess up the 'do. Get inside, and ew, getting to the second floor you could just feel the heat hit you when you got to the top of the stairs. Found a couch in the blue room and chilled there for the night. Watched the tall cuz get drunk as well as the frosh, ading included, she puked for kuya she said, yeahhhhhh. Then Joe and I were ready to throw down cuz some dumbass fatty spilled a drink on jen's overly priced Burbery scarf so Joe and I proceeded to yell at the mother fucker, me from my seat on the couch, Joe went down to talk to them. Oh yeah, some fat girl, hehe, puked all over herself and the perfectly good and innocent couch, go Wine Night. Then we headed to Merry Anne's, Monnie looked as if she was glad to see me. Had my first stack in a long time, ate it in under 5 minutes as usual. Then I headed over to apt. 30 to crash, I guess the roomies, Sharon and Juvs were still buzzin hahaha, funny stuff, they made my ear drums bleed when they were yelling at each other about biting off each other and wearing the same shirt. The chilled with Arlenda and Juvs for a while. They did their HW, I marveled at Juvy's pretty dirty rug, hahaha sorry Juvs. Then I crashed for the Night.

Wednesday, woke up around 230, met some people up to play pool, Leah made fun of Jay, he makes her nervous, haha. Then went back to apt. 30 and passed out, I sleep like it's cool now. Drove Arlene and Jay over to the Y for the officer auctions. Too bad they wouldn't re-locate that party to up here, otherwise that shit would have been mine and Marina's all the way. After that went back and got ready for Boltini's and Legend's. Legend's was packed, and my cuz shouldn't talk anymore, just shhhhh joey, shhhhhh. Then played some fuzion frenzy at Jay's and then passed out.

Thursday, woke up with a MAD headache. Woke up to cuz and Marina kidnapping me to go to hooters. Forgot that I was supposed to have lunch at Murphy's with 'Twan, oops. Went to hooters, had some wangs. Then back to apt. 30 to take a nap. Then it was off to cultural practice and Romel arrived. Went to 02, still had a mad headache so I tried to cover up the pain with some drinks, yeah didn't work only enhanced it. Went over to Jay's and passed out on their arm chair, in a fetal position. How does one pass out there being over like 5 foot? It takes grace and elegance my friend. Apparently my ass was also violated, thanks Joe. Woke up and passed out again at apt 30.

Friday, woke up to Jayson's scary ass hovering over me. Apparently he just walked in, I was like ok sure. Got ready and had lunch finally with 'Twan. Had two burgers and a beer, she also had a beer and was "uh oh joey...I'm tingly." Hahaha, headed back over to her place and watched her drag ass as she got ready. Then the graduates and I, Romel, Jayson, and I, went over to Barfly for Happy Hour. Gotta tell you, fun times buzzin hardcore at about 8pm. Then Romel and I had to go to the union to practice and get ready for the performance. We walk in and were like, WHOA! Everyone knew we were hella buzzin, one because we smelled like liqour on our breaths, and two because my pale ass turns red, I was quite crimson apparently. Then we performed and rocked that shit. Made it to the cover of the D.I. My only question is good God, why must I be on the front? My skinny ass needs to work out. Then we headed over to Joe's, took some convincing, actually volunteered him to have us over, hahaha. Got there, and went straight for the X-Box. Fun console. Then everyone got there and I went up to the kitchen to do some, maybe quite an excessive amount of Jaeger shots, yummy stuff, doesn't taste like black licorice now that I think about it. Then Zata, Romel, Fatima, Paul and I looked over down into the living room where the kiddies where, man, that's when it hit me, I'm old, we all felt old, they dont' even know what new wave is! That's when I knew it was over, college is over, I'm "grown up" now. No more time to fuck around and time to get my head in order to figure out what I want to do with this life and who I am. I didn't figure it out there, so I have to figure it out now. Then went to Merry Anne's again had another stack then passed out.

Saturday, woke up around 230, lounged around a bit, then Marina and I left for home. Got stranded by a train, but was a rather un-eventful ride. Got home, took a 'lil nap, then headed out to Transit, Partied with the Loyola kids, Paul, shoulda been there, "bodysuit!" Tried to get drunk cuz everyone else was, yeah no dice, just made me more wired, then headed out to China Town cuz that's how we do it. Came home passed out.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, woke up looked for jobs, watched TV, ate, showered, maybe, shaved, maybe, watched more TV, fell back asleep. Only today, Tuesday, I went with my bro back to York for his Frosh orientation, nearly 10 years ago did I do that too. Man things have changed, it's so much bigger now, the kids too. I worry that my bro won't last, he's so small compared to some of those giants that are as big as I am. And I've also come to the conclusion that yeah, I hate teenie boppers.

So comes my conclusion to this long winded entry. I'm old, not in the sense chronologically speaking, that is that I am 23 and that in the big picture I've yet to do really big things nor have I done enough. But in the sense that my childhood is pretty much in the past. Like that Saturn ION commercial where there's road signs reading "Now leaving your Childhood" or "Now leaving High School" that's how it is, I've seen them and have passed them, it's time to do adult things, things that I'm expected to do. To contribute to society, to the world. To do what I really was meant to do, to find myself and to make a difference, somehow, someway. My childhood has had, cliche-ish I know, it's up and downs. These have made me the person who I am. Now it's up to me to decide what I do, where I go. I've come to the conclusion that well, things don't always turn out the way you want them to, that some things just will not happen no matter how much you want it to. Some things are there, right in front of you and if you don't take the chance, it'll disappear. That every decision you make does have a bearing, in some way shape or form, on you life. I felt old at wine night, I felt old at Legend's, I felt old at Joe's, I feel right at home here. So I bid my childhood farewell finally, I've put it off too long, and say hello world, because in a matter of time, I'm yours. I just need to get over this awkward stage, not un-like adolescence.

Hi, how are you?

So I finally got my diploma today, THANK GOD! I was getting worried that something was wrong, like I really didn't pass all my classes, or that I was missing some sort of campus requirement. Maybe it was that way and they just said screw it, get him out of here, he's too old and he's been here, in college too, for way too long. In any case, I have a piece of paper that costs about $30,000. And what do I have to show for it so far? NOTHING!!!

Oh, so I realized that I kinda recapped the weekend on my last entry, but forgot about Friday. I know Romel and Fatima already put it in their things, but hey, I have one too so I'm going to rabmble on about it too now because I really have nothing else to do at this time of night. So friday, Romel, Fatima, Joel, and myself went out to the city. Thinking it wouldn't be a night like a rockstar I was mistaken. Drank way too much and paid for it the next morning. So we started the night out at Romel's cousin's place then headed out to Betty's Blue Star Lounge. There Romel and myself had 3 or 4 gin and tonics, Tanqueray for Romel, Bombay Sapphire for myself, why? because Romel and I are old now, well I'm older, but that's what old men do (Billy Joel - Piano Man ...there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin). Oh but it didn't end there, cuz decides to start a tab and we proceed to do 2 jaeger bombs, good shit by the way, new shot of the moment. Then we decided to go to glow for one of Romel's friend's free party, yeah I guess everyone who signed up for a free party that night did get one (Twan). There had a beer, because I do that. We watched some raunchy ass chick dance like there were poles up there, but there aren't any on the bar. She wore these hot pants thing, it was kinda gross. So then Joel buys me another gin and tonic (thanks cuz, gotta love people who are employed, they'll shell out cash). Oh and then there was this dude, you could so tell he was a guy cuz it was like 6 foot tall, with blonde hair, oh and you guys think I have thin thighs, dude's thighs were like the size of my arms, now that shit's skinny! Then Romel and I are chillin on the seats and he looks at me and says "maybe we should do a shot, we need to be drunk to be here" (we need to be drunk at many a place lately because yeah it gets boring. So we give Fatima money to get 3 shots of goldschlaugher, she unknowingly contributed to her demise hehehe, sorry Fatima. So she brought the shots back and we were like oh the third one's for you, she's like "BASTARDS!!!" So we take it and Fatima and I are on the verge of vomiting, it was really nasty. So we left glow and went to China town to eat, cuz we do that too. Had some pot stickers, mmmm pot stickers. And then headed home. Got Fatima home at 5am, hopefully her parents weren't awake hehe. But yeah, overall fun night.

To Mata's speed of dark thing, this is my inner dork coming out, I actually gave it thought and I told him what I thought early yesterday. I claim that dark and light are the same, each is the absence of the other, light the abscence of light, and dark, conversely, the absence of light. So since they are present in the absence of each other, they must travel the same speed. However, a new twist, we all learned in physics, think back to high school you non-science people, remember that light has a duality charateristic that is it is both a wavelength and energy. Dark on the other hand being the absence of light has no such dualism, so perhaps light does travel faster than dark. Dark comes when there is no light, or the light leaves and moves to another place. So to conclude this randomness, I propose that light still is the king of the hill, and that dark is slower than light. We're all dummer now, me for writing that garbage, and you for reading it haha, jk.

Ok, that's it for now, no more rambling, SOCOM is calling my name.

So in a matter of time Telnet and .plan will be non-existent for me, so I decided to do one of these things...

These are just my ramblings, because I do that, useless at best, that's what I do.

So it's been a month and a week since I graduated. Not much has happened, and life up here is getting monotonous. I wake up, scrounge around for food, shower (maybe), go online and look for jobs, more food, watch TV (JAG is a good show btw), more food, think about having a cigarette (gotta see if dad's home so I can smoke), eat again (I eat a lot and don't gain weight hehe you hate me dont you?) then night sauntering in and I wait for something to happen, Joel or Romel will call because well yeah Romel's in the same boat as I am, he just works out in addition to our daily routine, then we play pool or have our mandatory alcoholic beverage, I've noticed I can't go for more than 48 hours without having an alcholic beverage, (Alcoholic?) then I come home check who's online maybe talk or play some PS2 (those damn terrorists just won't die freaking Riddah Rouge) then I pass out around 5 just as mom is getting up for work as she enters the room and shakes her head at my "sleeping" corpse. Then it starts again, except on the weekends where it's pretty much wake up eat go out eat sleep and do it again.

Fun isn't it?

So went out again tonight with Cathy and Romel to Chromium. Kinda broke, we weren't feeling it probably because we partied hard last night, right Fatima? So I got home around 2. 2? Yes 2, on a Saturday/Sunday nonetheless. Cathy and I talked about how it's so different when you're home. At school when your'e bored you have actual physical contact with other people to be bored with you, not just the digital connections of AIM or Text or phone conversations, but you can see them. Here it's you, and just you sitting, doing nothing, watching TV eating the endless amounts of Filipino food you missed while you were gone. But now, all the Pancit, Beef Steak, and Kare Kare, become boring, oh how I crave a stack.

It's only now that I'm gone that I realize how I do take things for granted. How maybe I should have relished my time at school more, because yes, the truth is I do miss it, I knew I would. But life goes on and so do I. That's it for now, more later...